*** The following piece was published in a newspaper in Ireland
May 10th
2020
A typical day in
my life during lockdown
Lockdown for me has changed every single aspect of my life.
I don’t think I’m ready
to return to ‘normal life’ yet. Or want to. It has been astounding to learn how
few people matter in my life. We are so busy chasing what’s ahead that we have
forgotten how to be completely present and enjoy the ‘now’.
I have spent the last 8 weeks completely immersed in family
life and never been happier. We need so little to live a reasonably comfortable
life and never has this been as evident as now.
As I am an employee of the Health Service Executive, I have
been temporarily transferred to Public Health within the HSE to carry out
contact tracing. I travel 1hr 15 minutes to my hub, GMIT. I relish every moment
of this journey, child free and time to immerse in my favourite podcasts,
namely Second Life by Hilary Kerr and more recently, Death becomes him by Brian
Dowling.
My role in Public Health is to contact people that have
tested positive for Covid 19 and to inform them of such. On paper, it sounds
awful but I thoroughly enjoy it. A mini work detour has been an amazing eye
opening experience. Dealing with the public has always been a strong point for
me. 99% of cases are very straightforward,
people are generally lovely and always thank me for taking the time to talk to
them. Most are not surprised, just relieved that in fact the strange symptoms
they have been suffering is this virus and nothing even more sinister. In Ireland,
we have had 19, 470 full recoveries. We have tragically lost 1,547 people and I
think about that figure every day.
My last call today was the hardest. I rang an elderly case
to tell them they had tested positive and I spoke with her daughter. She was
extremely irate when I mentioned I was calling from Public Health as if we were
in some way responsible. She told me how her adored mother had gone into
hospital for a minor procedure and wouldn’t be coming home as she had
contracted Covid 19. I listened and listened some more…..
She spoke about not seeing her mother, how she couldn’t hold
her hand, that this exceptional woman had reared a huge family and now they had
left her to die alone. I felt her sense of loss. I felt her pain at the lack of
contact. I couldn’t speak. She was crying hysterical as she told me I wouldn’t
have a clue what she was going through. I told her I had sadly lost my own dad
3 weeks ago at 70. Her demeanor changed and she softened. She asked me ‘was I
ok?’ , she could hear me sobbing …. It was awful
That was a hard day.
The ritual of saying goodbye to a loved one has changed but
the sentiment remains the same. I found comfort in my father’s private funeral.
Just ourselves. No standing for hours on end. My hometown was lined with people
bidding a final farewell. This made us all so proud. We got to say goodbye. He
wasn’t alone and for that, we will be forever grateful.
Being a stay at home mother during lockdown has come with
its surprises too. Nothing makes me happier than been with them. Home schooling
has dwindled and I feel no guilt. My 6 year old gets greater enjoyment from
kicking a football. She’s naturally studious but I don’t push her at this time.
The weather has been amazing and I’m grateful for every day. Our girls tell us
that they love being at home with us and seeing the close bond our three girls
have really hit me. It’s the simple things for them. Pre lock down, every morning was a rush. Every
evening was a rush. In all honestly, we had limited quality time together
Monday through Friday. This will be the hardest adjustment. Life at this slower
pace is so enjoyable. In no time at all, schools will be back, daily work
schedules will be up and running and time will be limited once again but
attitudes will have changed ….
I will be spending time with family and very close friends,
the people who really matter. I want to enjoy and cherish that time. I will
live my life on my terms. I have never cared about what people perceive me as
and now even less so.
‘When everything is uncertain,
everything that is important becomes clear’
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