What I Know Now //

The first year of parenthood is intense, it can be such a rollercoaster of emotions, especially the first time around. I was particularly fortunate to have an easy baby and genuinely found it the easiest year ever but there was definitely lots of mistakes made along the way and for baby no 2 , I vowed that I wouldn't make the same mistakes twice...

Guilt.

I worried constantly that a new sibling would upset Arabella's little world. As our first born, she was the beneficiary of 100 percent of our attention. I felt myself mourning the loss of my one-on-one time with my her even before Isla arrived... 18 weeks later, I can see how ridiculous it was but at the time I felt like she would somehow miss out with a new addition. Now, I realise just how independent she really is and how much love she has for her little sister but also , that she is still a baby and needs lots of attention too. 


Travel Early.

A number of people gave us this advice, but we really didn't take it to heart. We waited a full year before travelling abroad. Looking back, travelling with a small infant is much easier than a 1-year-old, for the simple fact that newborns are essentially small bundles that don't move, basically eat one thing, and sleep for hours at a stretch. Also, if you choose to breastfeed, you don't need to pack additional food, which is one less detail to worry about. When they're older, they're darting across the room faster than you think a small child can travel on their hands and knees, interested in everything, and need to be entertained throughout! 

Fill Her Up.

Both my girls slept through the night from 3 weeks- I know this is very unusual , especially for breastfeed babies who usually wake every 2-3 hours. I swear by feeding as much as possible during the day and 'filling' up at night. For the first 3 weeks, I feed from 8pm-11pm every night and Isla slept through till 8am. Yes, it's exhausting but so worth it. 18 weeks later, I feed at 8-9pm and she wakes at 8:30am every morning! This time around I will hopefully feed her until she is 18 months or longer if she wants. 


Sleeping Solution.

I figured pretty early that neither of my girls were 'back sleepers' - although not recommended these days, I put them to sleep on their tummies and always awake and let them cry if necessary! It may sound cruel and you will feel awful but babies need to be trained from Day 1. I realised with Arabella that at 6 months, she had never soothed herself to sleep, this was my biggest mistake. Isla is put down awake and sometimes whinges for 5-10 minutes but i never ever pick her up. After that, she is fast asleep. Naps during the day are really important for the development of a baby with some experts recommending naps until 4! While i don't think I will get Arabella to 4, she still naps for 2 hours in the afternoon most days and really benefits from it (and me too!)

Get Physical.

I hopefully will start doing some exercise now as it makes you feel so much better. It's really important to get back to some sort of physical activity. Although hard if it doesn't fit with your family work schedule, I will try to bring Isla for walks. As Isla was a winter baby, walks have been few and far between and I really blame that for her coughing and being more sniffly than Arabella ever was. 
Fresh air is so important for baby and mother.

Give them away (Every now and then) 

I remember distinctly the first time I handed Arabella over to someone at 10 months, just for an hour- It felt so strange. This time, Isla was 8 days old when I left her for a night out with friends - Oh how the second baby is different! Did I feel guilty? Not a bit. I learned very quickly that the baby will be fine with others and if anything it's actually good for them to be minded elsewhere so they don't become super clingy. Remember that babies are very pliable and responsive to others.

Time for yourself. 

Time for husband / friends / family : The key is not to build a new life around your baby, but to blend your baby into your existing life together. This is the best advice I could give- baby fits into your schedule not the other way around.